World Suicide Prevention Day: What to do and say if someone tells you they’re suicidal

This World Suicide Prevention Day, you’ll see a lot of messages urging people to talk.

But once someone is brave enough to take that step and ask for help, what comes next? Too many of us are scared of the words ‘suicide’ and ‘suicidal’, fearing that just by saying them we’ll do something wrong.

We’re so scared of saying the wrong thing that it can keep us silent, even when we suspect that someone might be struggling. To get us all more comfortable in the event of a mental health crisis, we spoke to the Samaritans and Mind for their advice on what to do and say if someone tells you they are suicidal, or you think they may be experiencing suicidal thoughts. Listen without judgment This is the first step, and it’s crucial.

If someone makes the choice to open up to you, make sure you listen to everything they have to say without any judgment. Be patient when listening and encourage them to talk. Don’t interrupt, speak over, or dismiss them. You may be the first person they’ve been honest with. Try not to provide immediate advice unless they ask for it. Just listening and trying to understand can have a huge impact.

Try to remain calm and don’t make assumptions about why a person may feel the way they do. Just listen.

Ask directly about suicide

Don’t be afraid to ask the question: ‘Are you having suicidal thoughts?’

The word ‘suicide’ can feel scary, but being specific and direct with your language is important. It’s easy to confuse one person’s ‘feeling down’ with another person’s serious depressive period, and all too tempting for people to dismiss their feelings with that class line of ‘I’m fine’.

Ask directly so you can know if the person is at risk of suicide.

‘There is still a taboo around talking about suicide which can make it even harder for people experiencing these feelings to open up and feel understood,’ says Mind’s guide to supporting someone who feels suicidal.

‘Direct questions about suicide like ‘Are you having suicidal thoughts?’ or ‘Have you felt like you want to end your life?’ can help someone talk about how they are feeling.’

Try these questions

There are three questions that anyone can ask someone who may be experiencing suicidal thoughts:

1. Have you talked to anyone else about this?

2. Would you like to get some help?

3. Would you like me to come with you?

You don’t need to be an expert in mental health to help someone who’s struggling – simply offering to help and to listen could save their life.